Why we tend to take happiness for granted or rather say always keep trying to find some fault and prove that we are not happy. Do we just love problems or what ? Cause I definitely find myself and many other people searching for problems that never existed before. Unlike many other unfortunate people, we don’t have to fight for basic needs like food & shelter, so we get ourselves busy with useless problems like – “I just can’t get rid of these pimples… I hate my life” – “I have to go to office and work… I hate my life” – “My parents just don’t understand me… I hate my life” – “I have nothing to wear for the party tonight … I hate my life” …… wow! really?

Think about it again. While you are busy complaining about not being able to find your favourite lip-gloss, there are many people going off to sleep without uttering a word about their empty stomach… mainly because they are not left with any energy to complain. I am not suggesting that you become Mother Terresa and give away everything… all I am saying is… start valuing what you have. Enjoy the life you are blessed with and be happy.

Have a nice day.

Cheers !

For people who haven’t seen the movie – it starts with the imagination of a world where no one ever lied about anything. People just speak out blunt truth right in your face :/

Most of the people would prefer to hear a white lie than a bitter truth. The art of sugar-coating is compulsory for all the social animals… and it is not limited to just day to day small talks.  Everyone lies once in a while … including to one’s self. And for the things we don’t want to hear and also can’t lie about… we simply choose to ignore. For example – we would rather keep ourselves busy with news about celebrity gossips than learning about never ending riots in Kashmir. We would be more interested in reviews of a new food joint in the city than worrying about many poor kids dying because of hunger and poverty.  It’s the beauty of human brain you can say, that we can choose to remember only what we like and forget or ignore that we can’t handle. It’s not only natural but also good, living with painful thoughts on your mind all the time would be quite difficult I believe.

You know what I am saying… so not gonna elaborate and just end it here without pushing you to the limit of saying – “shut it lady …” (Yeah ! I couldn’t think of a better ending ;D )

Cheers !

-

When I started the shoot, I was planning to do a silhouette image so I kept the contrast high and the tones dark. But while I was editing.. I realised that the concept isn’t working out well with dark tones and I will have to brighten up the original photograph. This is a very common thing with me these days. I keep changing the concept during editing, which is so not good. I will never advice anyone to work this way. One should have a very clear idea about how you are going to process it before you start shooting.

As you can see here, I have managed to brighten up the image but in the process a lot of noise has been added to it and that brings down the quality. I totally hate such unwanted noise. Let’s hope that I will learn  from these mistakes and won’t repeat them in future

Have a great weekend everyone

You can choose to be happy in the worst of circumstances or be miserable with the best. Happiness is a state of mind.

Vedanta gives a unique formula for happiness. Happiness is the number of desires fulfilled divided by the desires harboured. As you fulfil a desire more pop up. The denominator increases, reducing your happiness.  The first step to eradicating desire is to ask: Is it in your interest? Is the desire in line with your life’s goal? If yes, fulfil the desire. If not, press the delete button.

Summery of Speaking Tree

I’ve always seen butterfly as representative of secret… don’t know why.

I don’t have any problem till the part when Ram left for Vanvas with Lakshman and Sita. But after that how the story goes… it always bothered me little bit. 

Over the period of time, the original story has been modified so many times that almost every region has it’s own Ramayana. Through out my life, I’ve been hearing different versions of different parts of Ramayana and Mahabharata, and while discussing these things with a few friends, I came up with my own Ramayana story which I find more logical and justified. 

I am sharing those thoughts here, which I call my own version of Ramayana ,  and everyone is, of course, free to agree or disagree. 

Image credit - Krishnasanga.com

1)      Sita was daughter of Ravan. (My teacher of History in Primary School introduced me to this concept. She said that one of the ancient South Indian Ramayana presents this idea…. and makes more sense to me since a king like Ravan, with knowledge and spirituality hight enough to make the Pushpak-Viman and an entire city of Gold, would not kidnap someone’s wife )  Ravan was a very learned, noble and strong man. But when Sita was born there was a big war going on ( Aryan v/s Dravidian probably ?? ). He could not risk the safety of his family, specially his wife and his new born daughter. He had to anyways protect his wife since that was matter of his pride. Even if he tried to hide his wife somewhere, people would call him a coward. But this was not the case with his daughter. Hardly anyone knew about her and that’s why she was safer. And he didn’t even want anyone to know about her. So he hide her in a far away land, under the earth, while making sure that the baby stays safe there and also keeps getting air to breathe. I believe that he also probably made sure that a good King finds her there. So this is how Janak found the beautiful girl child from the Earth. He adopted and raised her as his own child.

2)      Ravan never stopped caring about his daughter. He always kept an eye on her. When he found out that his little, delicate daughter and her husband are forced to leave the kingdom and live in the woods, he was very angry and shocked. The world didn’t know that Sita is his daughter. So one day when Ram and Laksham where not around, he went to meet her. He explained her the entire story and told her how much he was worried. He requested her to go along with him and live in his palace till the time of Vanvas. But Sita was determined to stand by her husband and support him, so she refused. Ravan being her father could not accept her decision and that’s why forced her into coming with him to his palace, where Sita refused all the royal treatments and missed her husband.

3)      Society didn’t know about Ravan being Sita’s father and that’s why the Kidnapping act was not fair. If Ram would let her be there just like that, they will accuse him of not protecting his wife and the pride of Ayodhya. So Ram had to declare a war against Ravan and bring his wife back. Vibhishan was suppose to become King anyways, but that would have had happened much later if this complex situation didn’t occur. Any how, they went for the best solution by putting Vibhishan on Ram’s side so that after defeating Ravan, Ram can declare Vibhishan as the king, which wouldn’t have been possible if he was still on the enemy side. Ravan had to be killed because without loosing the war he couldn’t handover Sita to Ram, and being alive after loosing the war was not acceptable to him as a man of high pride.

4)      Ram always trusted Sita and had no question about her “purity”. He probably also knew about her being daughter of Ravan. Since the society was not ready for the truth; they could not let anyone else know the real story. There were many other people who participated in the war on Ram’s side and he had to also show some respect to them. If he would accept Sita back just like that, they would question him. So for their satisfaction, he had to ask Sita, harsh questions in front of everyone. Of course, Sita answered them all but as you can imagine, it was really a painful and embarrassing situation for her and that’s why the questioning is called “Agni-pariksha”.

5)      After coming back to Ayodhaya, Ram became the King and everyone loved him very much. But this love turned out to be a bad influence on Sita’s life. Ram loved Sita deeply but the questions about her being kidnapped by Ravan and accusations about her purity were increasing day by day and that’s why there might have been a threat to her life. Meanwhile she also got pregnant. To save her and his unborn kids from any possible danger Ram had to do something. He could not leave the kingdom and go away with her for two reasons. One that he had accepted this responsibility and he was man of his words. Second, if he would leave kingdom for her, people would blame her for stealing their beloved King from them and would be really angry with her, which would have just worsened the situation. He couldn’t even hide her in some palace far away, because if anyone found out about the hiding place, she will be again in danger. So he had to go for the painful solution of abandoning her.  Though he never truly abandoned her. He explained the situation to her and she being always understanding, agreed even with tears in her eyes. Lakshman was asked to take her to Valmiki’s Ashram as Valmiki was the only person outside the Kingdom whom Ram trusted. Ram always took care of her security and comfort there. Sita lived a simple life at the Ashram and there she gave birth to twin sons of Ram. Ram never married or loved any other woman. He missed Sita and suffered that pain all his life.

6)      Ram knew about his sons but could never go and meet them or Sita. If he tried to meet them, people would get to know that he had not really detached himself from them, and the same old threat might rise again. When he realised that he was coming to an age where he should pass on the responsibility of the Kingdom to his sons, he decided to do a “Yagna”. It was merely a mean to Introduce his Sons to his people. With Sita’s permission, he took them back to Ayodhya and gave them all the necessary training and guidance to become good Kings. Since Sita’s hiding place was disclosed in the process, she had to leave the Ashram and go to another safe hiding place. People were told that she being child of the Earth, she went back to her. After handing over the Kingdom to Luv-Kush, Ram also left for the woods, where I believe he disguised himself as one of the Munis and lived for rest of his life with Sita. (Yeah.. I like happy endings only

 So all you ladies, before judging Ram as a bad husband who abandoned his wife, think about this. He suffered in loneliness most of his life, to keep his wife and kids safe. Sita suffered separation from her loving husband, for the safety of her kids. They had courage, knowledge, wisdom and strength… and that’s why we should respect them.

me: hummm…nice quote
  but what does your personal experience say ?
 

Aathira:  I feel that at times love makes one blind to simple practicalities.. so hence friendship is a safer bet
what do you feel?

me: i agree
  but i think a balanced combination will be even better
  when it comes to understanding… friendship is a better approach
  but when it comes to adjustments… love is the way to go

Aathira: hmmm thts also true…

me: at the same time…one (especially girls ) should be carefull to make sure that the ‘adjustments’ are not done at the cost of their self-esteem
(now i sound like IHM )

 Aathira: ha ha  
  yes … I must say you do

me:
but while we are talking about female rights… should not forget about male rights also
  a balance is necessary to creat a ‘happy world ‘
anyways…don’t want to bore you with philosophical discussion

 Aathira: i agre… and more importantly… male ego also!

me:   well…i believe that God has made them that way

 Aathira:
  true…

me: in fact i wouldn’t like my husband without his little bit of  ego
  but yes…i also won’t tolerate over doze of it

Aathira: ha ha…
there are times when the ego grows and you do not know that it has grown beyond a point… so that’s also dangerous… 

me: yup
  i agree
  that’s why its necessary to keep a watch on it

I believe in communication
  as soon as i feel that certain behaviour wasn’t right… i prefer talking to him about it at that time only
…if the mood and time is not right…i would wait for a while…but not too long

Aathira: yes… but you know when you also have a slight ego… that’s dangerous…
  like in my case…

 me: hummm
  true
  same with me
don’t know if it’s ego problem or what…but i get irritated at small little things at times…which are really not worth it
  again… communication is the key for me

Aathira: i totally agree.. it’s just very trivial when you look back…

me: i tell him to remind me whenever my reaction is not right….. so that he knows that i know my weakness and i am trying to control it and want his support in the process

Aathira: but you do get irritated..and that spoils the moment.. when he doesn’t get why and what pissed you off so much!

me: yes…ture…it spoils the moment
and it’s really sad when you loose a special moment
  i feel terrible after doing that kind of disasters

Aathira: i know…
  totally agree~

 me: wht to do?
  why God had to make women so complicated
 

 Aathira:

me: forget about hubby…at times i can’t understand myself
  and still that certain ‘i can’t understand it’ behaviour is so obvious for other women…and they totally understand it ;D

 Aathira: I know..
  at times i wanna believe in something… and i say it to myself in my head to at times..
  but then when the matter comes in front of me..
  i just do something so different
  i myself can’t believe i did that !

 me: exactly
yesterday only i was discussing this thing with Hubby… i told him that i understand certain things…but i still get upset about it
..and he gave me a nice explanation… that understanding is one thing… at this point you are giving logical reasons to yourself..but that won’t help your heart
…for that you have to accept the fact and let it go
  then only it will stop bothering you
I couldn’t believe that a male could understand it and explain it so easily

Aathira: ha ha …
what your husband said is exactly what always happens with me…

 me: i know
  with me too

 Aathira: and it always happens with some things..
  its just amazing… your mind understands.. but the heart is just miles away

me: but i was surprised that i didn’t tell him any details and still he could understand my problem… * touch wood *   

Aathira: well.. that’s love

 me:
  well..i beg to differ
  i think its more of friendship here