Is this Me ? :O

Have you ever felt that you didn’t know your real self till now…. or sudden confusion about ‘I am Ms X or Y ?? ‘ … or a surprise that ‘How come I’ve never realised this about me before ? ‘

Please …please …please ….say ‘Yes’ …. at least that will make me feel little better (that I’m not a weirdo 😛 )

Recently I’ve realized a few things about myself…which never crossed my mind before.

# I’ve ego issues.

Yup… I have ego issues… big time. Though as Hubby said, it doesn’t appear much in day to day life. I wasn’t really shocked when I realized this…so may be subconsciously I knew…but never really accepted it. My ego issues are pretty funny. For example… when someone would suggest that I can try meditation to find peace of mind…. immediately I’ll come up with an excuse not to do it…because I feel defeated if I have to be dependent on ‘meditation’ to find my peace of mind. :/  Most of the time I’ll convience myself that the presented excuse is not really an excuse but a genuine reason [ :O ]

Do You read that ? …yes…this was even more shocking… # I lie to myself …without even realizing it.

I keep saying that I hate liars and cheaters…and look at this… I lie to myself sometimes. :O Sigh!!!! 😦

# I start judging people very quickly but then won’t stick to it.

Yeah…and till now I thought that I don’t judge people at all…because my opinion about anyone keeps changing till I really get to know him/ her.

# I really need to learn to let go...

…specially negative thoughts. Once I start thinking something negative… I just can’t stop it and drop it… until I make a total mess out of it :/. If I’ve imagined something certain way and it doesn’t happen to be that way… I get really frustrated…. even if I say ‘its Oky’ …I don’t really mean it. I would already know that its not such a big deal…and still I can’t just ‘let it go’ 😦  …I’ll cry and crib over it for loooooooonnnnnnnngggg enough and will get over it only when I get some new and interesting enough topic 😛

# I should keep myself busy.

I’d started believing that I’m totally lazy and I don’t like to work at all…. when the fact is totally opposite of it. I like to work… but I enjoy one type of work only for some time and then I need something new. I love to learn something new. When I find myself not doing anything wroth while and not learning anything new …. I start getting upset slowly and gradually but would believe that I’m upset these days for XYZ reason… and at times will simply  blame it on hormones 😀

# I’m not a loner.

Absolutely not. I can’t survive if I’m to live on an island without any contact with any human being… may be I’ll start talking to fishes and other creatures 😛  I crave for friends…and I’m really happy when I make new friends….though I’m no good when it comes to keeping in touch…but I love making new friends.

# I like to boss around (in harmless manner only… mind it 😉 )

Till now… I’d never thought of myself as a Bossy person… but as a matter of fact I like to boss around, scold people for their mistakes, getting things done my way only etc. 😉 (tell me ..who wouldn’t 😛 )… I’m not sure if I would really like to be a boss. I run away from responsibility (I knew this already so its not a new finding 😛 ).

If you’re wondering that – ‘oky…so what happened suddenly ?’ …. answer is “I don’t know” … I can assume about a dozen reasons…but all just assumptions…. I’m not really sure what is the reason that suddenly my perspective about myself changed… but what I know is…. I want to fix it. Naah… all of them are not really problems…but some are… and I don’t want them to grow under the cover of ‘ignorance’ any more.

Any tips?  ( I’ll try and not let my ego issue come in my way of trying it out 😉 )


8 thoughts on “Is this Me ? :O

  1. Did you hit your head somewhere? you know, while trying to fix something in your new home? 😀 😀 😀 😀

    Chillaax !! dont make life this complicated ! Its scaring me already ! 😀

  2. Yes, this is u & almost all of us r like that only…..u r not abnormal or something, all normal human beings or atleast handful of the normal womens r like u (I can say this coz i know myself and other handful of womens arroun me)!!!
    Just try to learn how DH will be reacting in a given situation and try to avoid that situation or try to behave in a different way. I was used to get angry/upset during the first year of marriage and then reallised that this behavior worsens the situation…so started being sorry well in advance!!!!! this works for “ego problems’!!!! their ego is satisfied & we hav nothing to lose, except being sorry….hope this will help!!!

  3. Also I am sure that after a few years u will start feeling that ” I was not used to be like this…I was used to be different (sm1 better than what i m right now!!!!!!)”…i am in that phase now!!!!

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